OOM: In Gotland with Bodhi and Galen

[ostro_goth]

 It is the very height of summer now, so the fields are turning golden, the young animals in the meadows are nicely grown and running around when they are not stuffing their faces with the abundant grass, and the people are busy in the gardens and in the workshops and among the granaries.

One of the children points up at the procession coming down the barrow-hill, and then everybody is running up to meet them.

Comments

[imthepilot]

Bodhi buries his face in Galen's neck. He's need hiding this for so long, letting it go is like a part of him breaking again.

[galen_erso]

Galen holds him, in the gently darkening evening, as long as he needs.

[imthepilot]

After a long, long moment Bodhi lets go. "I'm sorry. I still-" Galen already knows he has nightmares as a result.

[galen_erso]

"Hmm?" Galen asks, giving him space to talk or be silent, whatever he wants.

[imthepilot]

"The nightmare. Because of- of Bor Gullet. Because of what it did-" His voice breaks and he stops.

[galen_erso]

"Oh, Bodhi!"

Galen holds him tight.

[imthepilot]

Bodhi's fighting just to breathe, his whole body shaking.

[galen_erso]

"Bodhi," Galen whispers. "Just let go."

[imthepilot]

He slips to his knees, shaking worse than before. He needs Galen so much. Needs Galen to keep him from falling apart completely.

[galen_erso]

Galen goes to his knees with him and pulls Bodhi close, just holding him and stroking his back and murmuring love and acceptance. "Hold on to me, I am here for you, we will get through this."

[imthepilot]

Bodhi grips Galen's shirt in his fists, clinging tight. "It raped my mind. It broke me open." A rough sob shakes him.

[galen_erso]

Galen holds him. He has heard about Bor Gullet before and knows what they can do. But to have Bodhi subjected to one...

"Bodhi," he whispers.

[imthepilot]

"I lost- I lost parts of me." He stutters brokenly. "I would have died in that cell- if Cassian hadn't said your name."

[galen_erso]

"But he did," Galen says. "But my name brought you back?"

It is a deeply moving testament to Bodhi's love.

[imthepilot]

"Everything was fractured and broken. My mind, my memories- Then Cassian said your name. It felt like- a light coming on."

[galen_erso]

"My Bodhi," Galen murmurs, "I am glad I could be that kind of focus for you."

HW feels loved, and needed. And feels his own love for Bodhi so clearly and strongly.

[imthepilot]

"The worst past was the things I wasn't sure of. The memories that- got broken." He looks up into Galen's dark eyes. "I couldn't remember if you cared about me. I remembered that I loved you. But not if you returned that love. It felt like half my heart was missing."

[galen_erso]

Galen holds him, horrified at the thought but glad it was all coming out

[imthepilot]

"Even after I- after I died. I wasn't sure till I saw you. Only it wasn't you. Doctor Lecter. When he thought he was you, it triggered the memories back."

[galen_erso]

"Of the monster?" Galen asks. He doesn't even want to name the Bor Gullet just now.

[imthepilot]

"Of you. Of us. Of- being sure we loved each other." He huffs a bitter sound. "I can't forget the monster."

[galen_erso]

"But you remembered the truth, at last," Galen says. "But I can so understand your deep disappointment afterwards, and..."

He holds Bodhi close, kneeling as they are in the grass beside the eaves of a low building, safely in the shadows.

[imthepilot]

"I had you back. In my mind and in person. But it was a lie. And I was alone again." He looks down at his wrists, the scars hidden by the shadows. "I had nothing but the nightmares."

[galen_erso]

Galen holds him still. "I k ow. I wish I'd come sooner."

[imthepilot]

Bodhi looks up, something bright and fierce in his eyes. "No. Galen, this isn't your fault. None of it is. Please, don't-"